Today at work I was bored. Again. Nothing new there. So I brilliantly decided to google TTC after 30. I didn't get much. I did get alot when I changed it to TTC after 35. 35 is apparently the cut off age for being fertile and having to get medical help to conceive. Wow am I cutting this effin close !!!
I then got sucked into some INfertility boards and Blogs. I am willing to go there if need be but am soooo hoping it doesn't come to that. I know too much about it tho for someone in their 3rd month of trying. It is inspiring to see how these couples never gave up and many in the end did finally get a baby or 2. Such an invasive and demoralizing process tho.
I HAD to wait this long tho. Rob and I both did. We were just not ready until now. Now we are ready and more than a bit impatient. I'm going to try to stop googling this stuff. I don't want to stress myself into infertility.
The Technical Stuff:
As the title says today is CD9. Nothing really exciting going on. I just took 2 OPK's. 1 cheapie and one FR (First Response ). Nothing. Only one line so no surge to let me know the big O is on it's way. I'm trying to remember back 2 last month when the lines started showing and I think they did right away and got darker and darker. But that was testing with my 1st pee of the day ( FMU ) - which I recently found out is not the best time to do it. So much to figure out...
Tomoro is CD10. I am going to start testing with FR at 2:30 at work. Tho it will be hard not to drink alot before it as since I quit smoking I drink something all day long. Temps seem normal. So so far so good. Tho I am REALLY looking fw to the OPK's coming up positive.
WOW has my life changed - lol
The Emotional Stuff:
We are having a small dinner party tomoro night. Rob is cooking a pork roast. It's just some close friends. But here's the kicker.
Couple number 1. Decided to start TTC and within 3 seconds of going off birth control she was pregnant. Nola is almost 2. Nola's mother is about 3 years younger then me. I love her to death and Nola is ADORABLE and I am really glad they are bringing her. But I am jealous of how easy it was for them to have her. Still right now I genuinely love all 3 of them and am looking fw to seeing them.
Couple number 2. This girl has been my BF since highschool. And I have known her husband since college. I love them both but the relationship has had rocky times and we have drifted apart since they left the city. Of course, she is pregnant. She is my age. A bit older by a few months. That actually gives me hope. The thing is that Rob and I decided to try for a baby exactly 1 DAY before she told me she was already 12 weeks along ! I was so happy for her but I also was secretly hoping that I would get pg THAT month so we could BOTH be pg. Well, that did not happen. Nor the next, nor by the time of this dinner.
So I really like, if not love, all the people coming over for dinner tomoro night. I am just jealous. Couple #1 knows we are trying. Couple #2 does not. It will most likely come up. Who knows. I am going to do my best to enjoy the night and not let jealousy take the lead in the race for my top emotion of the evening.
This blog post was much longer then I planned.