Wednesday, June 30, 2010

10 dpo

BFN :(

I am way more bummed then I thought I would be. I was really hoping hard in the myth that you are super fertile following a miscarriage. I guess I shouldn't have expected it to happen right away. I am 34 and Rob is 35 so it will take us a few months. I just really wanted it now.

I know it's not over yet. My temps have dropped but not too much and my LP is typically 14 days so I can test again in 2 days then if af doesn't show, again in another 2 days. I am just no longer feeling it this month. It was an FRER 6 days early test and I am 4 or 5 days pre-af.

I have also gained at least 5 pounds since the m/c. I am very angry at myself for this. My weight has come on so quickly since I quit smoking and hit 33. I used to be a size 4. I was ok with a size 6. Now I am in between an 8 and a 10. Tho I think I will have to admit I am probablly a real size 10 now. I am only 5 feet tall so this weight looks horrible on me.

The extra 5 pounds is all from letting myself go. After the miscarriage I took comfort in eating whatever I wanted and drinking lots of wine. I also did not work out AT ALL. Since we started trying again I have cut out the excessive food and drink but haven't really worked out much.

Monday I started back with the elliptical machine. 20 minutes Monday and Tuesday. My back has been giving me problems since i gained weight so that was the real motivation. But I want to continue with the workouts at least 5 days a week.

I need more energy. I need to be less lazy. I need to lose at least 5 pounds. I will try my best.

Monday, June 28, 2010

8 dpo

Today is 8 dpo. I really have no idea. I am trying my best to hold out until 10 dpo to test. That's Wednesday. I can totally make it.

We had a good weekend but I am feeling a bit guilty about something. We went to a small bbq on Saturday. Had a great time until my friends wife tells me they are going to start TTC next month. My first thought was something like "Please don't let it happen right away. Please let ME be next"

Horrible right ? gah. I hate it that I thought that right away. This whole TTC process is starting to change me. To my credit, I am pretty sure I acted the right way and said all the right things to her.

Still, if I do not get a BFP by Friday, I may just have to avoid that couple for awhile....

Wednesday, June 23, 2010

I Ovulated

Fertility Friend gave me crosshairs after I entered this mornings temp. They say I ovulated on CD 15. If that is true out timing was great this cycle. I hope it's true.
*does a happy dance*

Fertility Friend confuses me. I cannot for the life of me figure out why it chose day 15 over day 16 but I don't really care. Either day is fine. As long as it doesn't change in the next few days I am happy.

Also, I think the cover line is too low. I would have personally made it higher as it looks like I have a ton of temps above the coverline pre ovulation. hmmmm. It's kinda of nice though as I might not stress as much if my temp drops below 97.9.

So that's it. I am officially 3dpo today. In the 2 week wait. The hard part is over and now I can relax a bit until testing time. I think I will start testing at 10dpo which is one week from today !

Tuesday, June 22, 2010

Blog Roll

I added a blog roll the other day. I am not all that sure on blog etiquette though. I noticed mine on a few other blogs so I figured it was ok to just add any blog I follow. I hope it is. It makes it so much easier to keep up with everyone's blog this way.

However, if you see your blog here and aren't comfortable with me sharing it just let me know and I will remove it. OR, if you don't see your blog and would like it added just let me know and I would love to add it.

I honestly have no idea who reads this blog ! lol. It doesn't matter though it's open to anyone that stumbles on it.

In TTC news my temp did increase a bit today. Not all that much but I have decided not to stress over it anymore. I did travel outside the country to a different climate this cycle and I did just recover from a miscarriage. I will not freak out about a funky chart on day 17. Who knows, Fertility Friend may just be waiting a few more days to tell me I ovulated yesterday.

Not gonna stress, not gonna stress, not gonna stress..........

Monday, June 21, 2010

Still No O. Getting Discouraged

It's Day 16 and I am confused and frustrated.

First off my temp did not rise enough this morning so I have not ovulated yet. I really thought it would have by today. My OPK turned negative yesterday. I have no more EWCM and the worst part is that I am spotting today ! Ugghhhh

I started spotting right after Rob and I DTD last night and still have a little spotting going on now. If it was just the one incident I would have blamed it on the sex but now this is twice in 3 days ! I think I am having mid-cycle spotting and that is never a good thing.

*Great Big Sigh*

I don't know what to do. Do we keep DTD or is it all pointless now ? Do I still have a chance at ovulating tomorrow ? I doubt it since I had my first positive OPK on Day 13. Did my body try to ovulate and fail ? Is mid-cycle bleeding a sign of infection ? Is my body just still recovering from the miscarriage ?

I don't know.

I guess I just wait and see what the next few days brings. Why is this whole process so frustrating for me ?

Bah. I am just thinking outloud and do not really expect anyone to be able to answer these questions.

Saturday, June 19, 2010

Day 14. Ovulation?

Day 14 and I am thinking I am seriously fertile right now. I take 2 OPK's a day. One digital and one IC. I just like the confirmation that I am reading the tests right. (they get dipped in the same cup). Today on the IC the second line showed up fast ! By the time it dried the test line was MUCH darker than the control line. I have never seen a test line so dark on this type of IC. I actually got confused and thought I was looking at it backwards. Also, the digi gave me another smiley face.

TMI part ahead:

I have had alot of EWCM this month. ( last month too, it's strange ). Today, however, there was a little bit of blood in the EWCM. I think it's ovulation spotting. I get it every once in awhile.

My temp did go up this morning but not enough to think I already ovulated. And so far no ovulation pains. But that super-positive OPK and today's CM make me think i ovulated... oh, about an hour ago.

We did DTD last night. Twice. I would really like to go again right NOW but Rob isn't home. He should be home by 9:00 and I am hoping he will be in the mood. He wasn't feeling well earlier so I am a bit worried. When he's sick it just can't happen. So I hope he got better instead of worse.

Friday, June 18, 2010

Back Home with a Smiley Face

Our vacation was amazing ! We had so much fun. Relaxed, read by the beach/pool. We went out for a nice dinner every night. Went into town. Basically a very relaxing beach vacation and so much needed.

We got home last night and I took a digital OPK earlier and got a smiley face !!!!
On CD 13. It's the earliest I have gotten one. We didn't DTD last night but did the night before and will def get on that all weekend. I am hoping to ovulate tomorrow but won't mind if it's today.

I had a serious temp drop this morning and I blamed it on travel but maybe it's that pre-O temp drop ? I hope so. I have the day off and I love Ovulating on a weekend.

I went online just now and ordered 16 pregnancy tests. LOL. yeah i know I'm being a bit silly but I don't care. I got two 3 packs of FRER and 10 IC's. I know I went through at least that many when I got my BFP and to be honest am a bit embarrassed to go back to the pharmacy to buy them...again. So I just went with a bulk online order.

Other good news - Rob MAY have a lead on a job. I really hope it pans out. It's his first real bite since he got laid off. Fingers and toes are crossed.

I did have something rather upsetting happen right before I left for vacation but this is such a positive post that I'd rather leave it off on a high note. Thinking positive over here.

Friday, June 11, 2010

1 Week Blog Break

I have to be at a confirmation in CT all day tomorrow and then I leave early Sunday morning for the Bahamas. We are bringing Robs laptop so I hope to be able to update my chart. I will not be blogging until I get back though.

I'll be back online Friday 6/18 to freak out about ovulation :p
Yes I am packing the thermometer.

I hope everyone has a great weekend/week !!!!

Thursday, June 10, 2010

Vacation, Temps, & Unemployment

I'm looking forward to our vacation. We leave for the Bahamas on Sunday and come home Thursday. I KNOW that travel can screw with charting. Also the major climate change and sun burns and drinking and going to bed later and all that fun stuff will mess things up. But I don't mind. I will most likely ovulate when we get home anyway. We'll see how it goes. I am not going to stress over temps on vacation.

I had a nice low temp this morning. It's a good pre-ovulatory temp. They stayed relatively high all last cycle and I am pretty sure I never ovulated due to the miscarriage so I am happy that my body seems to be regulating.

Robs unemployment is starting to get to him. He is doing all he can to get a job but the market just plain sux. He is getting beyond bored. I'm afraid of how this will go if he is out of work much longer. It is already beginning to test us. The two of us have been through too much in the past few months. We just want to have some normalcy back. This vacation is more then needed.

It's odd. I really thought I would be jealous of his sleeping in and not having to go to work everyday. I'm not at ALL. The only thing that worries me is that he is getting addicted to video games again. That's a topic for another time though.

Sunday, June 6, 2010

CD 1 !

I am so happy. It's CD 1 today !

Our TTC break is officially over.

AND I will not have my period for our vacation next week. I am really glad it worked out this way. I hope this it. I want that BFP this cycle.

Thursday, June 3, 2010

Day 29

It has been 29 days since I miscarried. My chart is pretty useless and i have not gotten my period yet. Not even any spotting. I have absolutely no way of knowing when it will come. I can't pinpoint ovulation so I cannot go off my lp.

It kinda sux not knowing. I need to work on this whole patience thing a bit more. I am optimistically hoping that it will be here this upcoming week, but I can't know. It could show up tomorrow or it may be another 2 weeks. My temps seemed to have steadied a bit and are in the post-O range and my breasts are still sore. Hopefully it will be sooner then later.

There is no real chance of an "oops baby". We were careful. Ironically, we are very good at preventing.

I hope to update with a CD 1 post soon.

Tuesday, June 1, 2010

Our Anniversary

Our anniversary was yesterday. 2 years married. Go us !

We had a good weekend but didn't really celebrate our anniversary because we are going to the Bahamas in 2 weeks and will celebrate then. We had a nice relaxing weekend. The weather was great and we spent Sunday at an outdoor restaurant on Long Island with some friends. We ate seafood and saw a band that kinda sucked, but we had a great time.

Two weeks utill vacation !! I'm really excited for the break. Since Rob is out of work right now this may be our last vacation for a long time. We will most definitely make the most of it.

In TTC news. My breasts are sore. I am praying this means AF is on her way. I really have no idea based of my chart as it's just completely useless this cycle. I am really hoping she shows this week and then I might actually ovulate while in the Bahama's ! How cool would it be if we conceived on our anniversary vacation !

One can hope