I took one of those cheap internet hpt's this morning. I know that they are not supposed to be used as a way to monitor HCG levels but I thought I would try anyway. Of course it was a blaring positive. The strongest lines I have ever seen on that test. I had a feeling it would be as my HCG number was over 800 yesterday. I was just really hoping for a faint line or none at all.
How messed up is that. Last week I was praying for that kind of positive test and now I am wishing for the exact opposite.
I had some bad cramping and bleeding all day yesterday. This morning I don't have cramps but I am passing some clots. I am not however soaking through pads. Today I had a clot almost the size of a grape. I still have a small amount of hope that I will miscarry naturally. But after seeing this mornings test and doing a bit more research on ectopic pregnancy's I am losing hope fast.
The waiting game continues.
I am supposed to go to a Mets game with Rob, my sister, and her bf tomorrow. I'm not sure if I am going to go. I am afraid to stray too far from my own bathroom. I keep switching between no cramps and bad cramps. I bleed heavily and pass clots then it slows down for a bit. On the other hand I HAVE to get out of this apartment. I am just miserable and bored. Maybe getting out will be good for me. I am sick of watching tv and being a couch potato. I never was very good at that.
I have to rejoin the living at some point. I have to go back to work on Monday. Maybe that is a good thing.