Waiting on HCG Number

I am home from the doctor. She did another pelvic and took more blood from me. She saw blood during the pelvic. However, she cannot medically confirm a miscarriage until today's HCG number comes back. I am not holding out much hope. Actually I have no hope. Zero. I am still spotting. I am honestly just really hoping for a natural miscarriage so I can get right back into the TTC game.

I've cried so much. Another crying fit just happened when my Dad called. My mom had 2 miscarriages so he was very understanding. I mention this because I am NOT a crier. I just don't do it. I cannot even remember the last time I cried. I think I got upset once when I was sick. Maybe, IDK. But it seems like I have no control over my emotions right now.

Kelly and Emi ( and Susan if you read this blog )~ Thank you so much for all your support. It means so much. I cried when I read your comments. Again, not a normal thing for me. Those pregnancy hormones must still be in me. I know all 3 of you have been thru this and it helps to hear from you guys

Turns out my HCG number from Monday was only 356. That is low, but still falls into normal for the 5th week. It just seems like so many things never went right with this pregnancy. My tests taking so long to get darker had me worried. Turns out for good reason. There was also spotting the week my period was due that had me concerned. My TTC chart sucked as well.

So I was pregnant for a week. It was fun while it lasted. The entire 4 or 5 days I believed it anyway. I WILL get pregnant again. At least now I know it is possible. And it WILL stick next time. I just needed to get this out of the way for some reason. The Universe knows and I do believe everything happens for a reason.