Wednesday, May 5, 2010

It's over

I has some strange spotting last night. Tinted CM really. I tried so hard to convince myself it was from Monday's pelvic exam, but I knew. I started crying last night and I haven't stopped. I cannot even talk to anyone. When I try to talk I cry. I had to take the day off.

This morning I woke up and I was fine. Then after a BM I had some light bleeding. Like the kind you get a few hours before you get your period. It was a reddish brown color. There was definitely red in there. I know a miscarriage has begun.

Rob and I are more then devastated. I can tell he is trying to be strong for me, but I know this is hitting him hard as well.

I have a fear it may be ectopic. I think this because my hpts took a long time to get dark, making me think my levels were rising too slowly. Also, I have been having a sharp pelvic pains, which I think is a sign of ectopic.

At this point I am just really hoping to have a normal, natural miscarriage. I don't want drugs or surgery. I want to start trying again right away. I have to call the doctor soon and see what I should do next. No cramping and no heavy bleeding. I am not sure there is anything she can actually tell me at this point. I am only 6 weeks along. (according to her, if you go by my ovulation day I am only 5 weeks and 4 days )

I really don't want anyone to tell me it is spotting and there is still a chance. It is over and I know it.


  1. I'm so sorry, Christine. *hugs* I hope this event is over for you as quickly as possible so you guys can get back to trying too. Having experienced this myself, I can tell you to take your time grieving & grieve w/your DH too. But, most importantly, be good to yourself. There was nothing you could have done differently and that's the hardest thing to remember. I'm available to talk, if you want to.

  2. Just want to send a hug your way. You have tons of ladies here that care about you and know what you are going through. It hurts, it sucks, I HATE it for you. Please know I'm here to talk to if you feel like it.

  3. Sending love and prayers your way Christine. I really wanted this for you. Take all the time you need and know that we are always here for you.

  4. I am so so sorry Christine. *hugs* we are all here for you.