Wednesday, April 14, 2010

My Month, divided

1) AF is here. I allow myself to be depressed for a few days. I go get a nice bottle of wine and drown my sorrows in my consolation prize. Twice. At least. Then as her visit is coming to an end I start to plan. I purchase anything I think I need for the upcoming cycle and then some. I whip out the calender and figure out which days we will most likely dtd. I research. I look for something, anything, I can do differently this time that will result in a pregnancy.

2) Waiting to Ovulate. Now it's getting exciting ! I am looking forward to some good lovin and cuddling. I am on TP patrol and working overtime. I also now get to pee on some OPK sticks. I start this ridiculously early on CD 8 just to be absolutely sure. My temps are starting to mean something so I have to be careful. No drinking allowed. I start getting anxious over whether or not my AC will have an affect, if I will accidentally sleep with my mouth open, and if Rob is going to steal the blankets from me in the middle of the night.

This is when I really start stressing. I know stressing can delay ovulation, but it happens. I over analyze the OPK's. I put too much pressure on Rob. I revise the sex schedule to the point where we just have to dtd every night so there really was no need for a schedule to begin with.
And now it just feels like work. Losing motivation quickly.

3) Waiting for Crosshairs on Fertility Friend. At this point I am pretty sure I ovulated already, but until the computer software confirms it, I will not believe it. This takes about 2 days and by this time Rob is already convinced and we are both exhausted and there is no more sex involved. I don't feel great about this but my earlier stress has worn us both out and we just need to recoup.

4) The 2 week wait. I haven't actually experienced a full 2ww yet. Usually by 8-10dpo my temps will be lower and my breasts will be sore. Both of these are excellent indicators AF is on her way back. Although I know what is happening I still have hope. Why can't I be the one with the odd chart that gets a BFP ? I could. Easily. Maybe my breasts will be sore for my whole pregnancy and they are just getting started ? I go back and forth on this. Alot.

I'm at 6dpo today. I have no imaginary pregnancy symptoms. My breasts are NOT sore. However, I do have crappy temps and not-so-hot looking chart. I DID have a very weird dream early this morning. That is unusual for me. Is that an IPS ? I'm gonna say maybe

Test date will be 12, 13, and 14 dpo if no AF. ( I have alot of tests )

3 comments:

  1. I sent you a HPT in your cards so I can "be there" when you get that BFP!!!! Good Luck, Sweetie!!!

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  2. *crosses fingers* Here's to hoping your 'not-so-hot' chart works in your favor. Only a week to go!

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  3. Haha ! AM that is awesome. You Rock ! And thanks so much Emi, I hope so too

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