Wednesday, July 28, 2010

Back from doctor

She checked me out and said she saw what I was talking about and that it is extremely light and brown and she isn't worried. She said it was on the cervix and it's old blood. If it gets worse or there is cramping or red blood I have to call again but I will probably have some more brown spotting this week. She also told me many women spot during the first trimester and are perfectly fine and they really don't know why. I REALLY hope I am one of those women.

I feel a bit better now. I mean I don't really have a concrete answer as to why the spotting but the doctor isn't concerned. My friend at work said she should have done another ultrasound. She didn't think there was a reason to but my friend thinks she is wrong and I should get a new doctor.

I am too tired and nauseous to do anything else today. I was able to eat soup and toast. It is going to be hard to work when feeling like this but I have to. I'm sorry this post is a bit run on and not coherent but I am exhausted and wanted to do a quick update.

More anxiety

Yesterday I had some more brown spotting. And again this morning. I am getting very worried. I just called my doctor and I am going in at 1pm to see her. It's very light and still brown so I am hoping it's nothing serious but I am back to anxious.

I am also very sick. Morning sickness hit full speed yesterday at work. I have been up since 4:30 am with it today. I wouldn't mind the morning sickness if I didn't have the spotting. I could have said this sick will be worth it but now I am so unsure.

Well, other then going to the doctor this is really out of my hands now. It is what it is.

Monday, July 26, 2010

Back from ultrasound

There was a wonderful heartbeat !!!!! We saw it AND heard it. The ultrasound tech said everything looked PERFECT. She said PERFECT !!!

We are so beyond excited right now.

Here is the little ones first picture !

Sunday, July 25, 2010

An update

I haven't updated in a week because I have been a mess. I try so hard to stay positive but keep switching between believing I am pregnant and it will work out and just waiting for a miscarriage to start. So at any given hour of any given day I could be convinced of one or the other. Therefore, I have been unable to write a coherent blog post.

It started with some odd discharge I have been having. I wouldn't go as far as to call it spotting. It is cervical mucus that has some color to it. Kind of a yellowish brown. Very little and it happens in the morning after a bowel movement. It happened at 5 weeks 3 days. It happened again at 6 weeks 3 days and pretty much every morning since then. I called my doctor who said to call back if it got worse or if I had red spotting or bleeding or cramping. I haven't had any of these and I am "discharge free" the rest of the day.

On a better note I have plenty of symptoms going on now. I have slight morning sickness. It is better some days then others and seems dependant on my eating habits. If I wait to long to eat I start feeling sick. I haven't been able to finish my meals as I seem to get full very fast. I get gas easily. I am bloated all the time. My biggest symptom is exhaustion. It is persistent and is not going away. I still have not made it awake passed 9:30 pm, (sometimes earlier). Lastly, my breasts are so sore they can wake me up at night if I roll over in my sleep. These symptoms are reassuring to me. I am very happy to have them right now.

Today I am 7 weeks !!!!!! Crazy. I never thought I would make it this far and I'm excited today. Tomorrow is my first ultra sound. It is officially make it or break it time. I am so incredibly nervous and excited at the same time. If it goes well I feel like I will be able to breathe for the first time in over 3 weeks. If it goes well we will start telling people. If it goes well we will both let ourselves get excited.

PLEASE, PLEASE let it go well !
Appt is at 11:30 am Monday

Monday, July 19, 2010

6 Weeks 1 day

I have now made it further in this pregnancy then I did with my last. It's a bit of a milestone :)
I am still anxious and fearful and I have that 'this-is-too-good-too-be-true' feeling. I don't want to. I want to be calm and enjoying this more and I am to an extent, but the fear is definitely the dominant emotion. I am fearful everytime I go pee and I have to go pee ALOT. I really hope that next week (yes, ONE week from today ) we see a heartbeat at the ultra sound. I am hoping I can relax and enjoy this more after that. If it does go well we will start telling people. That should help.

I have 2 major symptoms working for me right now.

1) My breasts are VERY sore.
2) I am exhausted. I can fall asleep right now and could have dropped off anytime from 11:00 am on. I have honestly never been this tired for so long. My new bed time is 9:oo pm. lol

There are more symptoms. Pimples. Fun ! My whole lower chin is now covered. I am feeling off and on queasy, (not enough to be considered morning sickness ). Stuffy nose. Frequent urination. Dry, itchy skin. I had some pretty funky, realistic dreams last night. So lots going on and that is really helping right now.

I am just taking it one day at a time while wishing I could fast forward to next week. I can do this.

Friday, July 16, 2010

Beta results

I took a beta on Monday at 3:30 pm when I was 5 weeks and 1 day and it was 2,463. The next beta was taken Wednesday at 9:00 am at 5 weeks 3 days and it was 4,266,

I freaked out because it did not quite double. However, my doctor says this is perfectly normal and in range for a viable pregnancy. It was not a full 48 hours in between tests and we went ahead and scheduled an ultrasound for Monday July 26th. ( which cannot get here fast enough ).

After posting this on TMP I got some very re-assuring replies. Apparently betas take 48-72 hours to double AND once the number rises above 1,200 they can take up to 96 hours to double. (thank you Susan). And I believe these girls on TMP know more then most doctors. That and I went ahead and researched this for about 2 hours ;)

I am no longer worried. I have a doubling time of 52 hours and that is perfectly normal and within range. I am, after all, striving for normal here.

Also worth mentioning is that my first beta for my last pregnancy was a whopping 356. That was taken at 5 weeks 2 days so I think I'm way ahead of the game :)

The next 10 days could very well be the longest of my life !

Tuesday, July 13, 2010

1st Doctor Appt.

I had my first doctors appointment yesterday. It was different then I thought it would be. They were all very nice and seemed alot less rushed then I am used to there. The doctor said my cervix is high and closed and that was very good. Then she told me she wants to do a set of betas to make sure they are doubling so I have "some extra reassurance".

I wasn't expecting that and was so happy to hear I had that option. Last time they didn't even tell me my beta number, just that I was indeed pregnant. Well, I already know I am pregnant so I am not too concerned about that first number. I am concerned about that 2nd test though.

I feel like I am under alot of pressure to get this number to double. I know there is nothing I could do to help it along, but I wish there was !

My first blood draw was yesterday and my second is Wednesday. I will know the results by Thursday ! EEEEKKKK

If all goes well I can schedule an ultrasound after that. I am hoping to do the ultrasound in week 7. I am 5 weeks 2 days today and I know this week is going to go b extra slow

Monday, July 12, 2010

My HPT Experiments

So I have not actually stopped testing yet. I have taken 3 different types of HPT's this past week and thought I would let you in on how that went.

FRER - Obviously the best and easiest to read. I DID miss the faint line on 12 dpo but when i looked at it a day later I was kicking myself for missing that. so I got my first real line on an FRER at 13 dpo. by 16 dpo the line could not possibly get any darker on this test.

Answer - Very similar to the FRER. If I had know this before I may have just used these as they are a bit cheaper. I actually think on 15 dpo the Answer brand test was darker.

Dollar Tree - These worked surprisingly well. However, here in NYC they are not actually a dollar. they are $2.99. But hey, much cheaper then the previous two and I only took one at 16 dpo and that had a great, strong line on it.

IC's. I don't have great things to say about these. I used the ones from early pregnancy -dot-com. On 13 dpo it was there but so faint I might have chalked it up to an evap line. Same at 14dpo. By 15dpo it was pink and it was there but it was still a faint line. Throughout the week it got progressively darker. I did not get a blaring positive ( 2 lines the same shade ) till today. Today is TWENTY TWO dpo. 1 week and 2 days since I first saw a positive on the FRER.

To sum up I can say that I won't be using the IC's anymore. If it is a money thing then the dollar tree tests are the way to go. And the FRER is still my favorite but that Answer test is a very close second.

My POAS time is hopefully over for awhile now. I have only one IC left and since I don't think it can get any darker I don't need to use it.

Ahhh, it was a fun experiment.
I have my first beta today and I will hopefully get to schedule an u/s at this appointment. I should get a phone call tomorrow with my beta results. It will be great :)

Sunday, July 11, 2010

5 Weeks

I don't want to be nervous. I want to be enjoying this pregnancy. I am REALLY trying hard but this week may be tough. Today I am 5 weeks. When I had my miscarriage I started spotting during this week, towards the end and actually miscarried a few days later in week 6.

I feel like if I can make it exactly one more week I will feel better. Things seem to be going just fine. I really have no reason to worry, though I have been a MAJOR TPI (toilet paper inspector). I am lacking in any major symptoms still. I am exhausted but I really think that is due to quitting caffeine. May take a bit longer to get used to that. Why didn't I start that while TTC. Oh well.

Apologies, I just had to let that out.

Today I am going to meet a very good friends newborn. Reagan was born less then a week ago. I hope I get to hold her. She's a little one, less then 6 pounds. Maybe this will get me more excited and less anxious. I hope so.

Thursday, July 8, 2010

4 weeks 4 days

Everything is still going well. I am happy to tell you that today I did NOT POAS ! LOL. Yes, today is 18 dpo and I have been testing daily ( okay some days twice ) since I got that first positive test. I wanted to make sure those tests were going in the right direction before I called my doctor. They are !


Not much of anything. I kinda feel like I have PMS. Breasts a little sore but not too bad, bloated, and some mood swings. I have been getting up to pee alot more in the night.

I have a doctors appt for Monday. My doctor is on vacation and I do not want to wait 2 weeks to go in so I am going to see her partner on Monday. First appt is no big deal so I don't mind. The practice I go to is GYN only so after I get my first ultrasound and everything is good I will have to find an OB. My doctor will help me.

We have told NO ONE. Though how long I can keep this quiet is up in the air. I really want to get to that first u/s. So I guess we can keep it quiet and enjoy it for ourselves for a few more weeks.

Monday, July 5, 2010

This pregnancy is already different

And different in a good way. I know it's way early but I already feel better about it then I did last time.

1) I have had no spotting. Last time I had some strange spotting at 11 and 13dpo. It had me worried from the beginning ( turns out for good reason ).

2) My HPT's. Last time I did not get a positive test until 16 dpo ! And that was faint and took FOREVER to become a blaring positive. I felt worried about that as well. This time I got a good line at 13 dpo. ( probably should have seen that very faint one at 12 dpo ). AND an even darker one today at 15 dpo. Today is the day AF was due.

So last time I didn't even know I was pg at this point.

3) I have no symptoms. I had very sore breasts right away with my last one and I have nothing with this one. I don't like this but it's early and I know it's normal.

I really am going to do my best to stay relaxed and not worry about this pg. It's hard but so far everything looks good.

I am pregnant now and I WILL enjoy this.
(this is what I say to myself 50 times a day)

Saturday, July 3, 2010

We Dit It !

I feel a little stupid for being so crabby and negative the past few days now. I got a positive test this morning !!!!!!

I was reading through some posts on TMP where people said they saw lines on tests where I didn't see any lines. But everyone else seemed to see them so I figured I wasn't tilting my head the right way or something. This gave me an idea.

I ran to the trash can for yesterdays test and examined it more closely and in every light possible. After about 15 minutes I thought I might have seen something there. I looked away and back again and it was possible. However it was also possible my mind was forcing my eyes to create that line.

I was driving myself crazy so I went for a fresh FRER. I had already pee'd twice that morning so I really wasn't expecting this to work at all.

I saw the line right away ! I showed it to Rob before it even finished drying. It's there and a pretty shade of pink for 13 dpo.

We are so excited and I must say a bit anxious. I am going to do my best to be as relaxed as possible and not worry about this pregnancy.

I am pregnant RIGHT NOW and I am so freaking happy !!!!

pic of my 13dpo test. I'll test again in 2 days and hope the lines get darker but I am happy with this test.

Friday, July 2, 2010

Another BFN

12 dpo and another BFN this morning. Plus a temp drop as a bonus. grrr

I'm actually ok with it right now. I was really bummed out when I got that negative 2 days ago and I just kind of expected it this time. I don't think I am going to test so early next time. I was CONVINCED I was pregnant at 10 dpo and after that negative test I was sure I was NOT pregnant. So I think I would have had 2 more hopeful, happy days if I did not test so early.

Live and learn...

Thursday, July 1, 2010

Some pics and a concert

I never take pictures. I am horrible about it. I am trying to get better but I always forget my camera.

The neighborhood in NYC that I live in has a few summer concerts in a nearby park. Last night was a pretty good Cuban band. I can't remember the name because it was in Spanish and I don't speak Spanish. Anyway, the park is close by and we got out the blankets packed up some food and drinks and met a few friends for the concert. We had a great time !
As usual I forgot my camera so I took pics on my cell phone. I thought it might be nice to give people a visual of who Rob and I are.

Here's me:

Here's Rob:

And here's a pic of the stage. The lightinging isn't great and you can't really see the band, but you get the idea.

The building in the background is where I live:

Back to TTC:
I am 11 dpo today. I didn't test this morning but do plan on it tomorrow. I had a high temp this morning but do not trust it because I woke up at 4:00 am and used the bathroom. I went back to sleep but I was very restless and don't think I got any real consecutive hours in before 6:30 am temping time.