Sigh

Spotting has started. AF is most definitely on her way. She will be here today or tomorrow. Another failed cycle. I didn't even get to test this time. Great big loud dramatic *Sigh*

I also think I am going to have to suck it up and start temping vaginally. I really don't want to do this. However, my allergies have been pretty bad this week and yesterday was horrible. I woke up this morning and I couldn't breathe through my nose at ALL. I couldn't temp. I tried but couldn't hold my breath long enough for the thermometer to beep. The temp would have been off anyway due to sleeping with an open mouth. Turns out it didn't matter but I have a feeling this allergy season may be worse then usual.

I must say that I am a bit scared to temp vaginally. I guess maybe I'm more embarrassed. Rob always wakes up when I temp. He's going to find it odd when I wake up and stick the thermometer in it's new place. I find it kinda gross myself. I have some time to decide if I will go through with this and whether or not I will tell him in advance or try to sneak it. Obviously I cannot temp while AF is here. eeeewwwwww

Fertility Friend really IS my friend

My thermometer hates me. My chart sucks. Temps are erratic and my post O temps are much lower then I would like. So needless to say, I started my day feeling a bit on the down side.

I decided to pay a visit to FF's chart gallery. I searched charts similar to mine that ended in pregnancy and I actually found some. They exist. They happened. I still have a chance. Screw you thermometer, you canNOT bring me down.

I also decided to take advantage of my VIP membership status and chart my mood and any symptom I might have that could possibly fit. I'm tired today. Fatigue checked. I was irritable yesterday. That's a symptom. Check. I'm starving. Increased appetite. Check.
I now have 24 pregnancy points.

OK, now I have no idea what that means. I don't know anything but the number 24. Is it 24 out of 100 ? Maybe it's a 24 out of 25 ? Who knows but I HAVE pregnancy points.
I hope I get gas soon.

This is strange

Last night was like any other Wednesday night. We had dinner an watched some TV and then I went to bed. I felt fine.

I woke up at 2:00 am to complete confusion. I was upside down in the bed ! My feet were where my head should have been. My head was where my feet should have been.

This is not normal for me, though I have been known to sleepwalk from time to time. Rob said that when he went to bed (2 hours after me) I was already upside down. He left me that way because he thought I looked peaceful. He later regretted his decision as I kicked him in the head twice.

At 2:00 am I sat up, got up, and went to get some water. I then went back to bed in the correct position. I don't think this counts as an early pregnancy symptom. However, If I do get my BFP this time then I should make sure everyone knows about this. Fertility Friend doesn't have it as an option. I did look.

My Month, divided

1) AF is here. I allow myself to be depressed for a few days. I go get a nice bottle of wine and drown my sorrows in my consolation prize. Twice. At least. Then as her visit is coming to an end I start to plan. I purchase anything I think I need for the upcoming cycle and then some. I whip out the calender and figure out which days we will most likely dtd. I research. I look for something, anything, I can do differently this time that will result in a pregnancy.

2) Waiting to Ovulate. Now it's getting exciting ! I am looking forward to some good lovin and cuddling. I am on TP patrol and working overtime. I also now get to pee on some OPK sticks. I start this ridiculously early on CD 8 just to be absolutely sure. My temps are starting to mean something so I have to be careful. No drinking allowed. I start getting anxious over whether or not my AC will have an affect, if I will accidentally sleep with my mouth open, and if Rob is going to steal the blankets from me in the middle of the night.

This is when I really start stressing. I know stressing can delay ovulation, but it happens. I over analyze the OPK's. I put too much pressure on Rob. I revise the sex schedule to the point where we just have to dtd every night so there really was no need for a schedule to begin with.
And now it just feels like work. Losing motivation quickly.

3) Waiting for Crosshairs on Fertility Friend. At this point I am pretty sure I ovulated already, but until the computer software confirms it, I will not believe it. This takes about 2 days and by this time Rob is already convinced and we are both exhausted and there is no more sex involved. I don't feel great about this but my earlier stress has worn us both out and we just need to recoup.

4) The 2 week wait. I haven't actually experienced a full 2ww yet. Usually by 8-10dpo my temps will be lower and my breasts will be sore. Both of these are excellent indicators AF is on her way back. Although I know what is happening I still have hope. Why can't I be the one with the odd chart that gets a BFP ? I could. Easily. Maybe my breasts will be sore for my whole pregnancy and they are just getting started ? I go back and forth on this. Alot.

I'm at 6dpo today. I have no imaginary pregnancy symptoms. My breasts are NOT sore. However, I do have crappy temps and not-so-hot looking chart. I DID have a very weird dream early this morning. That is unusual for me. Is that an IPS ? I'm gonna say maybe

Test date will be 12, 13, and 14 dpo if no AF. ( I have alot of tests )

2 Week Wait

I am 5dpo today. The good news is that I ovulated. The bad news is that my temp has not even come close to that spike on 1dpo. Today's was actually scary close to the coverline as was another post O. Temping may be the death of me. High temp = good mood for the day and vice versa.

There is someone on TMP ( I can't remember who ) that has decided not to temp after O is confirmed. I'm going to have to go find that thread to see how it's working out for her. I am seriously considering this. Maybe not knowing is better ?

The thing is I get up at 6:30 am Monday - Friday anyway. So I can't decide what would make me crazier. Temping or not temping. Having no idea what is going on or coming up with crazy theories to explain what is going on every day. I am not going to set an alarm this weekend. It's a start I guess.

Work has sucked since Friday. The receptionist is on vacation so I have to answer phones, sit up front, and put my own work on hold. I've been a bit grumpy. And my allergies have kicked in. Fun times