Another BFN

12 dpo and another BFN this morning. Plus a temp drop as a bonus. grrr

I'm actually ok with it right now. I was really bummed out when I got that negative 2 days ago and I just kind of expected it this time. I don't think I am going to test so early next time. I was CONVINCED I was pregnant at 10 dpo and after that negative test I was sure I was NOT pregnant. So I think I would have had 2 more hopeful, happy days if I did not test so early.

Live and learn...

Some pics and a concert

I never take pictures. I am horrible about it. I am trying to get better but I always forget my camera.

The neighborhood in NYC that I live in has a few summer concerts in a nearby park. Last night was a pretty good Cuban band. I can't remember the name because it was in Spanish and I don't speak Spanish. Anyway, the park is close by and we got out the blankets packed up some food and drinks and met a few friends for the concert. We had a great time !

As usual I forgot my camera so I took pics on my cell phone. I thought it might be nice to give people a visual of who Rob and I are.

Here's me:

Here's Rob:

And here's a pic of the stage. The lightinging isn't great and you can't really see the band, but you get the idea.

The building in the background is where I live:

Back to TTC:

I am 11 dpo today. I didn't test this morning but do plan on it tomorrow. I had a high temp this morning but do not trust it because I woke up at 4:00 am and used the bathroom. I went back to sleep but I was very restless and don't think I got any real consecutive hours in before 6:30 am temping time.

10 dpo

BFN :(

I am way more bummed then I thought I would be. I was really hoping hard in the myth that you are super fertile following a miscarriage. I guess I shouldn't have expected it to happen right away. I am 34 and Rob is 35 so it will take us a few months. I just really wanted it now.

I know it's not over yet. My temps have dropped but not too much and my LP is typically 14 days so I can test again in 2 days then if af doesn't show, again in another 2 days. I am just no longer feeling it this month. It was an FRER 6 days early test and I am 4 or 5 days pre-af.

I have also gained at least 5 pounds since the m/c. I am very angry at myself for this. My weight has come on so quickly since I quit smoking and hit 33. I used to be a size 4. I was ok with a size 6. Now I am in between an 8 and a 10. Tho I think I will have to admit I am probablly a real size 10 now. I am only 5 feet tall so this weight looks horrible on me.

The extra 5 pounds is all from letting myself go. After the miscarriage I took comfort in eating whatever I wanted and drinking lots of wine. I also did not work out AT ALL. Since we started trying again I have cut out the excessive food and drink but haven't really worked out much.

Monday I started back with the elliptical machine. 20 minutes Monday and Tuesday. My back has been giving me problems since i gained weight so that was the real motivation. But I want to continue with the workouts at least 5 days a week.

I need more energy. I need to be less lazy. I need to lose at least 5 pounds. I will try my best.

8 dpo

Today is 8 dpo. I really have no idea. I am trying my best to hold out until 10 dpo to test. That's Wednesday. I can totally make it.

We had a good weekend but I am feeling a bit guilty about something. We went to a small bbq on Saturday. Had a great time until my friends wife tells me they are going to start TTC next month. My first thought was something like "Please don't let it happen right away. Please let ME be next"

Horrible right ? gah. I hate it that I thought that right away. This whole TTC process is starting to change me. To my credit, I am pretty sure I acted the right way and said all the right things to her.

Still, if I do not get a BFP by Friday, I may just have to avoid that couple for awhile....

I Ovulated

Fertility Friend gave me crosshairs after I entered this mornings temp. They say I ovulated on CD 15. If that is true out timing was great this cycle. I hope it's true.
*does a happy dance*



Fertility Friend confuses me. I cannot for the life of me figure out why it chose day 15 over day 16 but I don't really care. Either day is fine. As long as it doesn't change in the next few days I am happy.

Also, I think the cover line is too low. I would have personally made it higher as it looks like I have a ton of temps above the coverline pre ovulation. hmmmm. It's kinda of nice though as I might not stress as much if my temp drops below 97.9.



So that's it. I am officially 3dpo today. In the 2 week wait. The hard part is over and now I can relax a bit until testing time. I think I will start testing at 10dpo which is one week from today !

Blog Roll

I added a blog roll the other day. I am not all that sure on blog etiquette though. I noticed mine on a few other blogs so I figured it was ok to just add any blog I follow. I hope it is. It makes it so much easier to keep up with everyone's blog this way.

However, if you see your blog here and aren't comfortable with me sharing it just let me know and I will remove it. OR, if you don't see your blog and would like it added just let me know and I would love to add it.

I honestly have no idea who reads this blog ! lol. It doesn't matter though it's open to anyone that stumbles on it.

In TTC news my temp did increase a bit today. Not all that much but I have decided not to stress over it anymore. I did travel outside the country to a different climate this cycle and I did just recover from a miscarriage. I will not freak out about a funky chart on day 17. Who knows, Fertility Friend may just be waiting a few more days to tell me I ovulated yesterday.

Not gonna stress, not gonna stress, not gonna stress..........

Still No O. Getting Discouraged

It's Day 16 and I am confused and frustrated.

First off my temp did not rise enough this morning so I have not ovulated yet. I really thought it would have by today. My OPK turned negative yesterday. I have no more EWCM and the worst part is that I am spotting today ! Ugghhhh

I started spotting right after Rob and I DTD last night and still have a little spotting going on now. If it was just the one incident I would have blamed it on the sex but now this is twice in 3 days ! I think I am having mid-cycle spotting and that is never a good thing.

*Great Big Sigh*

I don't know what to do. Do we keep DTD or is it all pointless now ? Do I still have a chance at ovulating tomorrow ? I doubt it since I had my first positive OPK on Day 13. Did my body try to ovulate and fail ? Is mid-cycle bleeding a sign of infection ? Is my body just still recovering from the miscarriage ?

I don't know.

I guess I just wait and see what the next few days brings. Why is this whole process so frustrating for me ?

Bah. I am just thinking outloud and do not really expect anyone to be able to answer these questions.